The year is coming to an end. And honestly I do not remember what my game plan for the year was, when I started out! I may have to look for the dairy where I think that I wrote these things! I actually hope that I did put my hopes, aspirations and thoughts to paper. If I did not : Major fail on my part.
I am in the country next door: as I write this. Just when I thought that my passport had done it’s rounds this year. It appears that was not the case.
It has been a great year. It is about 37 days days to the year”s end and I am already counting my blessings. I have learned. I have grown, I have cried, I have laughed, I have taken on new people called friends in my life, I have let people go, I have talked, I have loved , I have failed, I have seen, I have felt but most importantly I have lived. It has been Am-ee-zing!
One of the major lessons that I am sure no one will ever take away from from me, has been that of being able to let Go and LET GOD. A very cliche saying that is. But never makes sense until you have seen it or rather is it experienced it. And like one of the blind men talked about in the Bible I can GLADLY say I have seen. And what a walk it has been. You know, we can never have everything in life. Even when we think we deserve it and even when we have worked hard for it. What we can do though is get to an understanding that this world and all that is in it is actually bigger than we are.
I have in a way gotten to realize that I can be all that I want to be. But then need to learn to be contented. And although I am encouraged to pursue my dreams and aspire for greatness, I am marginally content at best. Thus I f I have great expectations to be content and fulfilled and perceive myself as being obligated to stretch towards happiness then I am likely to focus on what I do not posses and pursue choices that might make me satisfied!. At any point in life, I can switch jobs, drop one significant relationship to pick up on another, and relocate from one neighborhood to another.However contentment I still think goes a long way more than that!
I have learned that once in awhile It is okay to light a fire in the fireplace, and light the candles too, and find strength in the scents of the wax and wood. We are definitely surrounded with simple pleasures and the possibility of sipping in and savoring the best in life is all around us.
Developing the art of savoring life is holding a hope that what our soul longs for will be satisfied someday. Meanwhile we relish the taste of pork (someone say aye), the smell of the earth that has just been watered by drops of rain, a warm cosy hug [that sometimes takes forever to come]. And we live life. That hope helps us accept disappointment and suffering. It strengthens its hold on our soul as we buy lunch for a homeless person, and work toward social change!
I have learned to rest and rightfully so! In a world where powerful technology eases our work, we end up living in an electronic buzz that drowns the the quiet cadence calling us to rest. As a result, we are an on-the-go kind of people that cannot do with out mobile phones, and the internet where we shop, bank, get info and entertain ourselves 24/7. Our lives are lived online. The people that we interact with everyday are also on line. And I think that with time, it becomes routine. We forget that we are real people in the real world with REAL issues. And with the coming of social media, we are on a roll to either impress or rather seek empathy. We forget to be real. Sometimes hearing the cadence of rest requires us to turn down the volume of sounds of competition. Internet Television and Mobile phones.I have had to take time off facebook!
Overall it has been a great year, richly rewarding experiences that have taught me enough to make me a better person.
The most amazing realization for me[which is still a process] has been knowing whose I am. Seeing myself as a soul that belongs has been for me grand. Contented souls recognize that they belong and in that realization they are free from the expectation that they craft their own perfect world!.I belong to the creator of this Universe. Great and Grand as He is, so I am learning to become. I have an identity bigger than I. It is a journey, it is a process.
All this may present a near perfect being. I am not. My flaws are all too visible, but my identity with God defines me. 2012 is hopefully going to be even better I cannot wait. I have still not been able to agree with another human being and as a result I have not yet been able to walk with someone just yet. I am most probably going to end the year alone on my roof-top contemplating the next step while watching tyre works and or fireworks. I still have more ‘Table for One” experiences than I can imagine, but I am honored to be alive. And whatever lies ahead, ama take it head on.