A year Older Today :)

A year Older Today. I am a lot wiser than yester year. Do I even know what that means? I do not. Because deep within is a child that wants to grow, a woman that wants to truly express herself and a star that wants to shine-but all for the right reason.

Mediocrity has never worked for me: Lies always stare back at me in the face, I can’t take them. Truth is hard to tell and live by, but over the years I have learned: it is wiser and better to live by it. It lasts longer.

True love exists, I tell myself. And when the time is right, it will come through. It hurts not to be trusted enough, and loved real by those we care about: But then again, if it came that easy, it would not be celebrated for a life time. So I choose to hang on: you cannot hurry Love…

Friends, acquaintances, lovers and enemies. Haters, Spoilers …they that walk in when everybody walks out. They that standby know us by name but we will never know if we meant a thing to them.. All these make up the spice of life, Variety. All hard to ignore

Lessons learned:

  • · Life is full of unpredictable experiences and events. They seem like stones dropped into the gears of ingenuity.
  • · The world would like to change me: there are pressures all around. But I ought to decide who I am and firmly hold my ground.
  • · There is too much to learn: But all new things aren’t good. Wisdom lies in what I have learned and what have withstood.
  • · To be myself is a choice I make. I must not allow the world to take control. Preserving my identity is Life’s most precious goal.
  • · There will be times when the world feels large and meaningless. [I get those too]. I choose to focus on little things…sunlight through the leaves, the taste of a Rolex  [Ugandan Made] and or roasted maize, the buzz of a bee- little comforts is what I call them. They are the friendly and familiar things.
  • · This too will pass… when things are dreadful, when life is absolutely appalling, when everything is superb and wonderful, when all is marvellous and happy: those four words always give me a sense of perspective.
  • · No matter the mistakes I make, I can never usurp the calendar of events God has planned.
  • · When one door closes, another opens. Every time I expect the new door to reveal greater wonders, glories and surprises. I feel myself grow with every experience.
  • ·Something is not always better than nothing, In most cases: nothing offers more PEACE of mind and fewer battle scars.
  • · If it is your time, Love will track you down like a cruise missile.

I love roasted maize..:)

Those are just a few bits and pieces that I just pulled out of my high school journal. It has been an amazing journey. The more I look back, the more I am inclined to trust God even more.

I want to end today with a twist; this is a poem that I fell in love with as a literature student in high school. Then it made sense and today it even makes more sense. I am not lamenting.

These past few years, have been quite an experience that I am grateful for. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. But it is a cry for innocence. I am sure we all at one time want to go back to that place.

It is by a Nigerian Poet; Gabriel Okara.

Once upon a time, son,

they used to laugh with their hearts

and laugh with their eyes:

but now they only laugh with their teeth,

while their ice-block-cold eyes

search behind my shadow.

There was a time indeed

they used to shake hands with their hearts:

but that’s gone, son.

Now they shake hands without hearts:

while their left hands search

my empty pockets.

‘Feel at home’! ‘Come again’:

they say, and when I come

again and feel

at home, once, twice,

there will be no thrice –

for then I find doors shut on me.

So I have learned many things, son.

I have learned to wear many faces

like dresses – homeface,

officeface, streetface, hostface,

cocktailface, with all their conforming smiles

like a fixed portrait smile.

And I have learned too

to laugh with only my teeth

and shake hands without my heart.

I have also learned to say, ‘Goodbye’,

when I mean ‘Good-riddance’;

to say ‘Glad to meet you’,

without being glad; and to say ‘It’s been

nice talking to you’, after being bored.

But believe me, son.

I want to be what I used to be

when I was like you. I want

to unlearn all these muting things.

Most of all, I want to relearn

how to laugh, for my laugh in the mirror

shows only my teeth like a snake’s bare fangs!

So show me, son,

how to laugh; show me how

I used to laugh and smile

once upon a time when I was like you.

My prayer for the new year; I pray not for an easier Life; I pray to be a STRONGER person.

I pray not for tasks equal to my power: I pray for power equal to my tasks.


13 thoughts on “A year Older Today :)

  1. This is a good one Ruth, Preserving personality is very important and growing in it will make the world stop and learn a thing or two, Keep on keeping on

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